Don't Give Up
by Lovaforeva
Summary: Bella and Edward have been married for 2 years. They finally decide to try and have children. What obstacles will they face? Will they even get pregnant? All Human.
1. And It All Started

"What does it say, love?" Edward asked through the door.

"Not pregnant.' I tried to sound fine but my voice croaked.

Me and Edward have been married for 2 years now, and we have always wanted to have a baby.

Wanted.

**Flashback**

Edward and I were lying in our bed, just looking into each other's eyes.

"What do you think of children, love."

"What do I think of them, or what do I think of having them?"

Edward shrugged "Both."

I had to think. When I was younger, it had been a dream, but now I lived in reality, and I had bigger responsibilities.

But an image of a little boy with vibrant green eyes and copper colored hair appeared in my mind.

I thought of how happy it would make Edward. He always talks about how cute Alice and Jasper, my best friend and her husband, kids are.

Maybe this could be a positive addition to our lives.

"They're great!" I said trying to sound sure.

Fail.

What about us having a little Bella?" He asked placing his hand on my stomach.

I was in one of Edwards old t-shirts, while Edward was in his boxers.

I could feel the bulge in his pants.

**End**

That night we made love. We were hoping to make a baby, and I would be taken off birth control right away. I ended up pregnant, but setbacks go on and on.

**Flashback**

Edward and I were at the grocery store buying food and other needed supplies when;

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _**A fire alarm.**

Long story short. I inhaled smoke, got knocked down, and lost my baby.

I was depressed for weeks. Just laying in bed looking at my sonogram. I never wanted to try again. I never wanted to hurt another baby. Edward let me grieve, but I could see he was hurt too.

I promised him. I promised we would try again.

**End**

Here we were, sitting on the bathroom floor looking at a negative test. Edward had to work, so he only had so much time to give me the talk I had been getting ever since the first negative test.

"It's going to happen."

"Don't give up."

"It is meant to be."

"We'll keep trying."

Soon enough, he started sounding like a motivational speaker.

"I'm fine." I said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Are you sure?" He asked, uncertainty in his voice.

"Positive." I muttered staring at the negative test.


	2. Enough is Enough

A/N

Okay guys. I have no idea when I will update. This is my first fanfiction. I can only depend that you will save me into your favorites and check it once in a while. I promise I WILL finish this story. Also, people want lemons. I love reading lemons, but I'm no good. If anyone wants to read this and work together with me, and write me some lemons, I will really appreciate it. You will get credit. Please. (: Thanks. Enjoy.

EPOV

Once I got outside of the house, I felt guilty I had to leave Bella.

I worked at the hospital and when there are emergencies, there are emergencies.  
And it's not like I don't like saving other people, but Bella is my life. If she is hurt, I am hurt.

I know. I probably sound like a sappy movie line. But that's not how it is. She is my love. My only love.

When we started trying for a baby and succeeded, I saw a difference in Bella.

She was really happy and glowing.

When she had the opportunity to tell people that she was pregnant, she was just radiating love.

But when we lost the baby, she wasn't glowing. She was just like a walking zombie.

I hated seeing her like that. I wanted to make her feel better. I wanted to bring a new human being into this life. For god. For Bella. For me.

I got in the car and drove to the hospital slowly. I like taking things slow, appreciating the flowers on the edge of the highways.

Once I was in the parking lot, I texted one of Bella's best friends. He helped her whenever I had

to go otherwise.

BPOV

I was sitting on the couch in the living room staring at the ceiling.

Edward and I have a custom house. We built it when we first got married.  
I liked it simple, but with high ceilings. Across the couch was the fireplace. My favorite feature.

I can stare into the fire and the shining wood and feel like I could see the future.

_Edward and I sitting on the porch outside watching our children drive off leaving us with our grandchildren. Drinking lemonade thinking about the old times we had. Holding hands while the little ones played tag. Someone falls down and Edward has to take them inside to clean them up. _

Edward. I wish sometimes he didn't have to work, but I couldn't complain. Not when he was saving others lives.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

When I opened the door, there stood Jacob.

Jacob Black was my best friend. We met in high school. I remember every second of it.

**Flashback**

Edward and I were walking through the hallway of the school after hours. We were talking and holding hands when..

"Oof!" I fell right on my ass. Edward looked down on me and helped me up.

"Are you alright, love?"

"Yeah. Ow." I muttered, trying to find my numb butt.

"Oh my gosh. I am so sorry!" said a voice that was high. As high as a man's voice could go anyway.

"It's alright." I said putting my hand out. "Bella" I said introducing myself.

"Jacob!" He said holding it out.

Edward was giving a death glare at Jacob.

"Oh! I am gay honey! Not interested at all!" Jacob said hurryingly.

I laughed out loud and Edward had a relieved, yet embarrassed look on his face.

We had been friends ever since. Even my friend, Alice, who is obsessed with shopping, gets along with him.

They go shopping all the time. I try to never get roped in. I have fashion, I just hate having to walk and try things on. You could call me lazy, but I call it "This is my size. If it doesn't fit, I'll return it!"

**End**

"Hey honey." Jacob said enveloping me in a hug.

Jacob knew all about our fail at trying to have a baby. I usually don't like talking about it, but with him, I feel like I could just let it all out.

For the next couple of hours, we just sat around talking and eating ice cream.

I decided enough was enough.  
I had refused to see a doctor about this, thinking it was just bad timing, but I know that this was meant to be, and I am going to have a baby.

I was going to see a doctor tomorrow with Edward.

**A/N **

**I have no problem with gay people. I actually have always wanted a gay best friend. (:**


	3. I'm Ready

A/N

I know. This one is short. I hate reading short fanfictions. But this is my first one. I just have to take it slow. (:

EPOV

Once I was in the clear to go home, I ran out of the place.

I took every opportunity to be with Bella, especially in this sensitive state.

Bella hated when I gave her pity, so I always played it causal like "How are you" and "How are you doing today?" just to get feelings out of her.

I stopped at Roberto's Mexican food just to get something fast and easy for me and Bella.

I already knew what to expect tonight. I get a specific talk every time Bella takes a negative test.

BPOV

When Edward came home with Roberto's, I was happy.

I hated cooking, even though I have gotten many compliments.

After dinner, Edward and I were lying in bed. He was reading a novel, and I was laying on my side, just thinking.

"Edward."

"Yes, love?"

"You know I love you, right?"

"Yes, Bella. And I, you."

"I don't want you feeling like we only have sex to conceive. We have sex because were in love."  
"Bella," he sighed "I don't need this talk all the time. I understand, love."

"I know." I was silent for a couple of minutes. "I just don't want you feeling like a baby machine." I muttered.

He sighed and set his book down on the bedside table. He then turned and wrapped me in his arms so my back was to his chest.

He kissed the top of my head. "I love you, and you love me. When it happens, it happens. It is meant to be."

"About that," I said, "I have decided I want to see a doctor."

"Are you sure?" He asked in uncertainty.

"Yes. I really want a baby. I want the feeling of having a part of you and me growing inside of me. I want to go through his or her life. Teething, walking, talking, hormones.." I laughed.

"I'm ready Edward."  
_I'm ready. _I told myself.


	4. All I Want

BPOV

When I woke up the next morning, I was nervous.

When I saw the doctor after I lost my last baby, they said that I would be fine to have another.

Well, I obviously have a problem.

I was nervous this would be a permanent problem.

The only thing I could do was pray.

I held on tightly to Edwards hand on the way to the doctor.

"Everything will be fine love."  
"You don't know that!" I accused.

"I know everything happens for a reason." He reasoned.

I didn't reply. I was too busy thinking about the possibilities.

_At the doctor_

"Bella Swan." The nurse called my name.

I walked in with Edward. He separated to a chair in the corner and I sat on the uncomfortable table they called a bed.

"Okay, hon, I am just going to take your blood pressure, then the doctor will be with you." She said kindly.

After she finished, the doctor appeared in the door.

"Hello Bella. I am doctor Jamison. What do we need to investigate today?" he asked looking down at his charts.

"Well, my husband and I lost a baby a while back. Now, when we are trying to conceive again, we are unable to." I said as calmly as I could.

"Okay, I am going to have to look at your uterus, and we will see what is going on, alright?"

I nodded, nervous to know the outcome.

I went to the bathroom to change into the gown.

I went into the room and sat on the chair. I placed my feet on the two platforms, so he could see what he needed to see.

He was down there looking while I held Edwards hand and closed my eyes, swallowing nervousness.

"Okay!" he said, surprising me. "I am going to go look over some things, then come back with the results.

"Thanks doc." Edward said.

I didn't want to talk. I just sat there, looking outside the window. Edward was nervous too. We both wanted a baby so badly!

"Okay, lets go over what I found." Dr. Jamison said as he walked back in.

I held on tightly to Edwards's hand.

"Bella, we have found that your uterus is oddly shaped."

I panicked. "And that means?"

"It means that when the sperm is supposed to go into your ovaries, it has a difficult time finding the right path.

Silent tears fell down my cheeks.

Later

"Bella, the shots have a 99 percent chance of working." Edward said, trying to calm me as we walked through the lobby.

"That leaves 1 percent, Edward."

"I know, love. We will see if it works. I promise you, we will do everything it takes.

"You don't UNDERSTAND! ", I said, getting into the car. "It's not like the doctor said "Oh Edward, we found that you have an oddly shaped penis!" nooo. Your genetelia is fine!" I said, frustrated.

He grabbed my hand, understanding I needed this time to blow off the steam.

I just wanted a little baby.


	5. I Never Thought

Ages: Bella: 25

Edward: 27

James: 25

BPOV

I have been taking the shots for about a week now. They are supposed to help my ovaries respond quicker, but all its doing is making me horny.

I suppose that's a good thing. Even though my ovaries are messed up, they aren't completely useless. They still have a little chance of getting me pregnant.

I was shopping at the grocery store one day grabbing dinner. I do not like to cook, but we can't starve; and we can't waste money on fast food because I'm lazy.

While I was on the drink aisle buying a gallon of milk, I saw someone who I thought moved a long time ago.

**Flashback**

James and I have been dating all through junior year. Maybe we were young, but I swore I was in love. Wrong.

"BELLA!" James yelled as I got out of my truck and started walking to the school. I thought he was just trying to get my attention so I turned around.

"Hi James." I said keeping it casual.

He walked over to me and slapped me across the face.

Yes, James abused me. I thought I was in love, and also afraid to tell anyone.

Never like this, though.

Never in public.

"WHAT THE HELL, JAMES!" I said surprised. It's not like I was. He slaps me all the time. It's the least he could do.

"WHY are you CHEATING ON ME!" he screamed. By now we had a crowd. The principal already called the police. They took James in a car, and my dad, chief of police, took me home.

I never cheated on him! Maybe he was just trying to end the relationship. Good. I had had enough.

James had been in jail for a year, and I had not let another boy in.  
Until I found Edward.

I always refused to go out with him, but he was a stubborn one.

It wasn't creepy or stalkerish in any way. It was actually pretty cute.

We had been dating for about 6 months when I told him all about James.

He understood.

He accepted me and not my past. I knew he would never hurt me. I knew he was the one for me and I, him.

**End**

He was supposed to be in jail for _1,2,3…_ Huh! 10 years. He was out. His time was done.

I turned around, hoping he wouldn't see me.

"Bella!" said the voice I knew all too well. Not like it was attractive. It was rough and edgy.

"Do I know you?" I said trying to sound oblivion.

"Look Bella," he smirked, "I understand. You don't want to talk to me. I get it. Goodbye.

I ran out of the store as fast as I could, paying for dinner.


	6. Glitter in the Air

**A/N I know. It's short. And really has no point. But I am... yeah... on that. IM BORED. (: Let it be. I will write a lot more this weekend. It's been a fast week with lots to do. K. REVIEWS. (:**

Ever since my run in with James, I shared the story with Edward. We kept no secrets. If a girl flirted with him, he told me. If I had a conversation with a guy, I told him. It's how it's been since the beginning.

Edward wanted to find James. To give him a piece of his mind. I had to hold him back. I knew Edward. He would probably try to kill him.

Back to present, it was that time of the month again.

My period.

Every time I got it, I was depressed. It was the fact that I _wasn't _pregnant and the fact that I was moody, due to the period.

Edward knew it was time. Edward knew everything. I sat on the counter in the bathroom crying.

I hated this. I hate my body. And apparently it hates me, because it won't grant my one wish.

I left the bathroom and texted Edward that I needed tampons. I only had pads, and I hate them. Sitting in your own blood? Yeah, no.

I sat on the couch staring into the fire of the fireplace. It was winter, so it was pretty cold in the house. I hate using the heater. If it's on, it gets too hot, and it's just a bi-polar Bella thing.

The fire was the perfect temperature though.

I started cleaning the house. I don't know what it is, but whenever I'm mad or moody, I enjoy cleaning. I guess if I am going to sit around all day, I want to sit around looking at a clean house.

As I was washing the dishes, I started humming "Glitter In The Air "by P!nk.

I feel like it's a song to get all your feelings out.

And I really needed to do that every once in a while.

I can't wait until god grants me with a little miracle, if he ever does.

I pray everynight hoping that he sees it's meant to be.

Tonight we are going to dinner with Alice and Jasper.  
They never really get to go out since they had their little twin babies.

I usually volunteer to babysit for them because I love it, but since were the ones going out with them, I couldnt.

I decided to go get cleaned up and get ready.

It's going to be a long, uneventful night.


	7. Dizzy

**A/N I think about my story everyday trying to figure out ideas. I have come out with different ideas for the next chapters so I just had to write this one. I think this one will be really good. (: Okay. Since I know what I am going to write, I will update more often. (:**

Once Edward got home, I went into the closet to pick out my clothes. I chose a peachy dress. It went best with my hair color. It was simple, but elegant. I paired it with some naked colored heels.

"Edward!" I yelled. "Lets go!"

"Coming love." He said grabbing his keys and walking out.

I had this overwhelming feeling in my stomach. I had to stop for a second and lean on the wall next to me.

"You okay, Bella." Edward asked concerned.

"Yeah, just a little dizzy." I said, not knowing what was wrong.

I plastered a smile on my face for Edward and grabbed his hand. "Lets go."

I grabbed my umbrella from the stand by the door and my bag.

I actually enjoyed the rain. Waking up and just listening to the sound of it pounding on the roof. The sound of thunder and the sight of lighting; it calms me.

Edward, on the other hand, hates it. He is always trying to convince me to move somewhere dry. Vegas or Arizona. We couldn't afford to move now. We built our lives here. Our friends. Our family. I grew up here. It just wasn't happening.

My phone ringing interrupted my thoughts. I grabbed my bag from the back seat and got my phone out. _Alice._

I touched answer with my finger and put it to my ear.

"Were right down the street, Alice." I said, letting her know.

"Oh, okay. Just making sure. We already got a table, so you can just walk in."

"Thanks Ali. Were outside. Bye." I hung up and made sure I had everything in my bag.

I opened the door and ran inside. "Were seated with Whitlock's." I said, telling the young waitress.

"Okay, they're seated over there" she said pointing.

"Thanks." I said smiling.

"Hey guys!" I said hugging Alice. Edward did a one hand shoulder bump thing guys do with Jasper.

"Bella! I feel like it's been years!" she said sitting down.

"I know! How are the kids? You look great."

"Thanks. Emily is growing everyday and Tommy is getting that attitude of his."

"He'll get over it. I had the worst attitude when I was his age."

"Yeah, that's what it says in all the books."

We ordered our food and ate a nice meal.

"So, we have some news for you guys!" Alice said excitedly.

"Really," I said wiping my mouth on a napkin. "What is it then?"

"Well," she said grabbing Jaspers hand, "I'm pregnant!" she shouted.

Suddenly the overwhelming feeling to throw up overtook my body and I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom.

Once I emptied the contents of my stomach, I flushed and cried. I heard Edward come in the bathroom. I opened my stall and let him in. He stroked my hair while I cried. He soon helped me up and went back to the table.

I grabbed my bag and coat.

"Sorry, guys. I feel a little under the weather. I think we're going to go. Congratulations." I said, and with that, I left without looking back.


	8. I Can't Think Big

_**I KNOW I KNOW. I haven't updated in weeks or months maybe. I really have no excuse. Being lazy maybe (: But I am back, so yeah… chapter 8.**_

"Bella, love? Are you sure you are okay?" Edward asked concerned as I leant my head against the window of the car, relishing the cold.

Maybe I am stressed. Maybe I just have a bug. Maybe… no. I can't think big and be let down hard. I'll just see a doctor tomorrow. A real doctor. One that doesn't have to look at my vagina to do his job.

"Yeah. I probably just have a bug. I'll go to the doctors tomorrow." I gave him a weak smile.

He still looked worried, but he let it go. "Alright, well I'll take off and go with you."

"No, no. Not necessary. I can drive myself to the doctor. You can take me if I am still sick tomorrow."

"Alright love." He said grabbing my hand and squeezing it before we pulled into the drive. "Go up to bed, and I'll be up after I finish some work."

"Okay. I was going to kiss him on the cheek, but when I twisted my stomach, I felt like I was going to puke, so I stayed put.

Once I carefully got out of the car, I crawled into bed in my bra and underwear. I laid in bed thinking. What if I was pregnant? I mean, I've been pregnant before and this is exactly what it felt like. I can't handle it if I lose another baby.

"Loosen up Bella. More stress will only do worse." I said to myself.

"Who are you talking to, Babe?" Edward asked, walking into the room, removing his shirt.

"Myself." I muttered, turning over.

He got into bed and wrapped his arms around me so my back was to his chest. He rested his chin in my neck.

"Bella, have you thought about moving yet?"

I sighed. I knew this was coming. He has been bringing up hints, and he was actually getting blunter about it.

"No Edward. I don't want to think about it now. We have built our house, our friends, and we are trying to build a family. You have your job, and I have everything I need, except, well.. yeah, but why move?" I stuttered through every sentence.

"I guess you're right. I don't mean to put stress on you Bella. It's just, So far, our family isn't working. I'm about to lose my mind and you stay strong through it all. I am so proud of you, and I want you to be proud of me." Tears were pricking in my eyes.

I turned in his arms and cupped his face in my hands. "Edward" I said looking into his eyes. "I am so proud of you!" I said clearly. "SO proud. And you need to know that. You paid for this house. You pay for everything I need. You are helping me build a family, Edward! I have everything I need, and it's because of you!" I breathed.

He kissed me, but I got the sick feeling, so I stopped him and laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight, love" He whispered.


End file.
